Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Always Tick the Box

At some point in my life I have failed to tick a box that says "If you do not wish to be contacted by third parties for marketing purposes please tick this box." That or I have accidentally ticked a box that says the opposite. These marketing types are sneaky like that.

As a result I received a letter this morning that had "Official Confirmation of Award" stamped on the front. Unfortunately the letter inside said that I could have between £15 and £1,500 if I opened a credit account with Littlewoods. I have never shopped at Littlewoods in my life - nor have I opened a credit account. It's unlikely that I'll do so for a measly £15.

I used to get plagued by emails, catalogues and texts from Dwell, who sell furniture and the like. You read that correctly by the way, they sent me text messages. To my mobile phone. The bastards have no mercy. Everyone gets that tiny buzz of joy when they get a text, but for some time mine were occasionally "20% off at Dwell this weekend only." They arrived about once a week.

I emailed them a few times telling them to leave me alone, and after a while they did. I still get catalogues selling old people stuff and expensive gifts of the pseudo-ethnic variety. Just in case I want my home to look like I'm in my 70's but I spent my younger days travelling to the People's Republic of Ethnicograd. I don't, since you ask.

One day, I'll be patient enough to contact them all. I'll tell them that I'm both penniless and very boring, and that I therefore can't buy any of their expensive and exciting stuff. Until then, I'll keep dropping their letters directly into the recycling.

The moral: Always read the text next to any tiny hidden box on any form you fill in. Think carefully about ticking it, or you may be plagued by minor inconveniences until you can be bothered to do something about it.

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