Tuesday, December 30, 2008


Overheard whilst leaving Borders in Leeds:

Guy with Hat: It was horrible! It was like Stalin, but with tits!
Guy lacking Hat: Yeah, I know what you mean.

I wish I knew what he meant. Guy Lacking Hat is clearly a genius or something, unless there's a new kind of porn that I just hadn't heard of... which seems kind of likely, if alarming. Rule 34, right?

Leeds was poor today, it seems I can't deal with crowds whilst shopping. My problem is, I enter a shop, avoid the crowd it contains and look at something cute which they have missed. I then get pounced on (i.e. everyone in the crowd realizes I'm looking at something entirely beautiful and fascinating on account of my impeccable taste, and tries to look at it too). I then have to leave the shop.

It would be easier if crowds didn't so often contain such large people. I don't mind too much if someone gets in my way whilst shopping, as it's unavoidable, but if they take up three times as much space as the average person, they really should try to improve their spacial awareness.

So sadly, I bought nothing, and wasted lots of time doing so, I think I might book a personal shopper so I don't have to deal with the crowds at all. Still, it wasn't an entirely pointless trip, at least I now know about Stalin porn, a concept that might well amuse me for weeks.

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