Lobster

The weather at home is beautiful at the moment. I'm told the same is true in Glasgow, and I really hope it still is when I get back.

Yesterday, while reading in the garden, I fell asleep. I was woken by my mother about an hour later and told to go inside to avoid burning. I did so, and fell asleep again (perhaps I should point out here that I did have a rather heavy night the previous evening, I'm not simply suffering from some weird sleeping sickness).

When I awoke, I was the wrong colour. At least 30% pinker than I should be. This did not please me. Especially since Today I am going to meet two of my best friends, Jenny and Hannah, who are always expertly groomed, seemingly without effort. We'll giggle and gossip and probably shop for shoes, and though I'll be the only one in heels, I'll feel very short in comparison to them.

Add this to having bright red arms, and you can see my concern. Giggling is fun only when it's not about my bright red arms. However, as usual, I have a cunning plan. I remembered hearing that they paint hospitals green to neutralize the colour of blood.

Blood is red. I am red. Hospitals are painted green to make the blood look less red? Actually, that's a really odd idea. Surely if someone's bleeding in a hospital the last thing you need is attention taken away from the fact? I can't help thinking you need certain people to notice, say for instance, doctors. I wonder what colour they paint the walls in Bupa hospitals.

Having said that, if there is a chance that it works, I'll go for it. I am now decorated like a hospital (by which I mean, I'm wearing green). Let's see if it does the job...

[Edit, 22:52] Not a chance.