Wassup G?

When I was around 13, I went through a period having gangsta friends. This was a surprise to me, since I'd always been the quiet kid everyone picked on (at least until a couple of years later, when I learned the art of ganging up on a gang of people all by yourself - worth mastering if you can manage it).

It happened simply enough. One of the gansta girls who got my bus home from school was shouting about needing a muthaf*ckin' tissue before the bus arrived. My mother had bought a bunch of special edition mini-packs of Kelvin Klein Kleenex (best phrase this week so far). They were to raise money for charity. They were also hideous. Even then I had enough sense of style to be ashamed of having them in my bag. I mean, leopard print Kleenex? Seriously? I respect Mr Klein, but he had lost it.

I gave the whole pack to the gansta chick, they matched her handbag, and she recognised the designer. I was an instant hit. She and her friends made other people get out of my way so I could sit at the back of the bus.

I was taught the language. The music was shared and explained. I got respect and they miraculously started getting A's in all their homework assignments. We were excellent influences on each other.

Then, the rest of the popular people started noticing. The balked at first, and pointed out that I was a nerd. But the gangstas did not care, they stuck by me through everything. We were homies, no muthaf*ucka could stop us, biatch. 'Cept some chick's ex-boyfriend who she was still into. Damnit, but I was terrified of that guy, not interested - he was twice my size! Word got around that he liked me. I left the group before I was forced to.

Popularity dropped again. I was banned from using the words "homie", "bled" and "shizzle." Frankly, it's probably for the best, I always sounded ridiculous. I couldn't get whiter if I was caught in an avalanche.

But in a weird way I miss it. I understand gangsta rap, even if I never actually liked it, and can even explain why some rappers are better than others. Why everyone in hiphop actually hates soulja boi. What I can't explain is why anyone in hiphop is... well... in hiphop.

But then, I listen to a combination of death metal and French electro, what do I know?

P.S. My spell checker went mental on this post. I've left it as is, but there's no way I'm adding "shizzle" to it's dictionary. It'd just be a bit too far.

Nature vs Nurture

I was thinking about my childhood, and I reckon there's a chance I was groomed for academia. It surprises me, because when I was in high-school I asked my parents if they'd ever had any thoughts on what career they I'd eventually have, or what they'd like me to have, and they said no, and I thought no more about it.

I now have reason to believe that they lied to me. This is not unusual, if you look back on your life you discover that as a child people lied to you constantly. Incidentally they simultaneously try to teach you that lying is wrong. No generation to date has been successful in passing the virtue of unwavering truthfulness onto the next.

Anyway, it was thinking about the differences between my sister and I that lead me to this conclusion. We're a lot a like, both in general personality and appearance, though she's smaller than me and tends to die her hair red these days. Our parents claim to have tried to treat us both the same as they were raising us, and in the respect that they spent equal amounts of money and time on each of us both, they're claim is valid.

However, I'm on my way to becoming a physicist and she's on her way to becoming a photographer. I was always the academic one, and she was always artsy. I reckon its got a lot to do with the season in which we were born. I'm January, she's August. So when it came to birthdays she'd get a swing-set, or a sand pit, or a trampoline. I tended to get microscopes (yes, plural), chemistry sets and electronics sets to play with.

One year Steph got a Barbie and a "Make your own lipgloss kit" for Christmas. The same year there was two dictionaries amongst my gifts. An OED for students and a "Dictionary of Difficult words." No wonder I didn't mix well with my peers. I'd ask for a remote controlled car and get a book called "My First 100 Science Experiments." I didn't even know Fisher Price did such a thing!

And yet, as a child I never noticed. I pointed out the unfairness that I never got anything as cool as a trampoline, and was told I could always use Steph's and that it was only because you couldn't use trampolines in Winter. It made sense. So I absorbed all of it. The interactive encyclopedias, the 1000 piece world map jigsaws, all the books I could get my hands on. Lessons disguised as toys.

When I was home at Christmas last year, my Dad looked at a pile of my notes. He called me over and asked me to explain what they meant. It was some basic stuff on the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. I did my best, but the conversation ended like this:

Dad: Let me get this straight, not only are you doing maths when you should be doing physics, you're doing it with letters instead of numbers, and the letters are in Greek?
Me: Yes.
Dad. WTF?

Serves him right. I'm still bitter about that trampoline.

Geeking Out

Some of you may already know this, but I'm now ready to share this with the world. I know a lot of people may be prejudice against me for this, and I understand your discomfort around me, I only hope you can find it in yourselves to treat me no differently, I'm still who I always was, just with this as well. I'm not going to go so far as to campaign for rights for people like me, I don't really feel that we suffer as much as we once did.

Anyway, I'm ready to admit the truth at last, I hope you won't reject me. Here goes;

I'm a geek.

I first realized years ago, in high-school. I knew I was different from the others, I liked science better than art, and actually enjoyed learning in general. People used to tease me for being "a swot" and for consistently getting good grades, which I liked and got a kick out of - everyone else seemed embarrassed if they got anything greater than a C grade. As if success was wrong.

I didn't enjoy sport, at least until we started studying the effects and benefits of exercise on the body. No one else could understand why we should be studying biology in P.E. or games, but for me it finally made it interesting, and I was finally curious enough to start genuinely taking part - after which I was regularly asked to join the netball team or the gymnastic team, but I still held grudges with those who teased me for my IQ, and had no interest in associating with them outside of the competitions - which would have been necessary.

I was interested in home economics classes, which were mostly made up of cooking, I wanted to try new foods and play with different flavours, cooking times and combinations, wanting to be able to prepare something more intriguing than fish-fingers with chips and peas. While the other students balked at trying cheeses more extravagant than cheddar, and were positively horrified by produce from other countries, I was already preparing meals from countries they couldn't even find on the map.

For a while I tried to hide the truth. I didn't use my advanced lexicon, or tell people I knew things because I liked reading books or watching documentaries. I asked my sister to tell me what was happening in soaps and reality tv, so that I didn't have to stomach watching them in order to keep up. If people asked me what I did at the weekend, I'd say I went out with friends, went shopping, watched tv - the truth was I'd play video games, read, or tinker with microscopes and chemistry sets.

Eventually I gave up, and allowed people to think what they wanted. I went to sixth-form to study phsyics, maths and chemistry, and then applied to University to study physics.

This Christmas, I'm most pleased with my new NAS drive (although I admit that until asking M's advice, I had no idea that they even existed - thanks M, you're a greater geek than I'll ever be). I also love my geeky tshirts, and all the books I recieved, especially my new copy of The Science of Discworld, which nicely combines two of my favourite things.

So, I'm sorry I'm different, but I am. This is what I love. I'll be spending my Christmas break in bliss - since I don't have exams to study for, and my boss has mysteriously disapeared - I'll be tawling wikipedia, learning Russian, playing with my NAS Drive, reading about science, playing old videogames, thinking up get rich quick schemes, learning about robotics, finding interesting music and generally geeking out. Reality TV won't be on my scedule, nor will gossip magazines or chart music.

One day the geeks will rule the world, mark my words. Join us, we've got robots, and sometimes we go to Space!